Week 15 – Truth #5: Failing as Your Future Self Is Better Than Succeeding as Your Current Self

Growth Requires Stretching Beyond Comfort

At 71, Elaine decided she was tired of waiting for connection to happen to her. She posted a simple flyer in her building lobby: “Saturday Morning Walk — All Welcome.” She imagined a small crowd.

Only three people showed up.

For a moment, Elaine felt embarrassed. Had she aimed too high? Should she have waited until she felt more confident? But as the four of them began walking, conversation flowed easily. They laughed, shared stories, and made plans to walk again the following week.

That small, imperfect beginning became Elaine’s social lifeline. Months later, the group is still walking—sometimes with two people, sometimes with six—but always with connection. “If I had waited for success,” she said, “I never would have found my people.”

Research Nugget

Research on resilience and behavior change shows that small, repeated failures build emotional strength, confidence, and identity growth. Trying, adjusting, and trying again strengthens who we are becoming. Avoiding imperfection keeps us stuck in our current identity—even when it no longer serves us.

Growth favors motion, not mastery.

Simple Tips to Try

This week, practice growing as your Future Self:

• Try One Safe-to-Fail Action. Start a small group, ask for help, or try something new where the stakes are low.

• Debrief in a Journal. Write a few lines: What did I try? What did I learn? What would I tweak next time?

• Celebrate the Attempt. Success isn’t the outcome—it’s the courage to step forward.

Each imperfect action trains you to become more resilient, visible, and connected.

Anchor Question

“Where can I risk looking imperfect to grow into my future self?”

Let this question guide you this week. Progress often begins where comfort ends.

✅ Call to Action

Before you go… one simple action to do.

Your perspective matters. This short poll will help me understand what would be most helpful to you right now, and how I can best support you going forward.

Readiness-to-Act Poll

Thank you for reading! I'll see you next year! 

Merry Christmas and Happy 2026!! 

Carol Marak, Solo Aging Expert