At 75, Margaret looked around her condo and wondered, “I never thought I’d be this alone.”  The friends she once leaned on had moved, passed away, or grown distant. With no children nearby, she was suddenly facing a future that felt unprepared and uncertain.

That moment of realization—that she was now navigating life almost entirely on her own—was both sobering and motivating. Margaret could either let loneliness dictate her future, or she could make deliberate choices to create a future where she felt supported, connected, and purposeful.

Her story is not unusual. Millions of older adults live alone, and many quietly wonder, “What will happen when I need help?” The truth is that our future selves depend on the choices we make today. If we wait until crisis strikes, we may already have fewer options.

Research 

Studies show loneliness isn’t just emotionally painful—it’s physically dangerous. Research found that chronic loneliness can increase the risk of early death to the same extent as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. That’s how profoundly isolation impacts health, from weakening the immune system to raising risks of heart disease, dementia, and depression.

For solo agers especially, this means proactive planning isn’t a luxury—it’s a lifeline. The earlier we acknowledge the risks, the more time we have to build the networks, safeguards, and habits that will protect our future selves.

A Simple Future-Self Tip

Here’s one exercise you can try this week:

• Write down your #1 future worry. It could be health, housing, finances, or “Who will help me if I fall?”

• Imagine your 80-year-old self giving you advice. What wisdom or encouragement would they offer?

• Share or journal it. Writing it down helps transform vague fear into a clear focus for action.

This practice is small but powerful. When we shift from feeling overwhelmed to imagining what our future self might say, we open a window of possibility. Suddenly, the problem feels less like a threat and more like an invitation to prepare wisely.

The Anchor Question

As we begin this series on planning for your future self, I invite you to ask:

“What would my future self thank me for noticing today?”

Margaret’s moment of loneliness could have stayed just a painful memory. Instead, it became the wake-up call that nudged her toward planning—toward taking steps her 80-year-old self would thank her for.

The same choice is yours. The earlier you begin, the stronger, more secure, and more hopeful your future self will become.

Call to Action:

This week, take five minutes to answer that question. Write it down. Post it on your fridge. Share it with a trusted friend. Your future self is waiting—and will thank you for starting today.

Resource

Dr. Julianne Holt-Lunstad, is an internationally renowned expert, researcher, and thought leader on social connection. She is a professor of psychology and neuroscience and director of the Social Connection & Health Lab at Brigham Young University. EVENTS for SOCIAL CONNECTIONS.

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Thank you for reading and sharing with friends who face aging alone.

See you next week,

Carol Marak, Solo Aging Expert